It’s about honoring…
Once a year I sit down and write a love letter to improv. I think of it as my ode to the craft. Improv changed my life and I do not say that lightly. I often wonder if it could change the world – or at the very least change the way we treat each other as we go about our lives in this world.
Recently I was at an Improv Leadership Summit in Cincinnati with attendees from all across the globe. And so many of our conversations over the 3-day gathering centered around the construct of honoring. And I remember thinking, yes, that is exactly what is happening when we lean into the craft. It’s the perfect description: honoring.
Every time I take the stage I am given the opportunity to practice honoring: honoring myself, honoring my scene partners, honoring the craft, and honoring the audience – all at the same time.
Seriously, it’s all about honoring. Let me explain.
Honoring myself: What matters deeply is that I show up in the most authentic state of who I am – and I unleash that for all the world to see. Because there is room for all of me to be all of who I am. I’m allowed to gloriously honor myself.
Honoring each other: While standing on stage shoulder to shoulder with your scene-mates, all you have is each other, and the unspoken agreement of honoring. Together you build on each other’s ideas until you have created something far better than you could have ever created on your own. You showed up as the best version of yourself, and mixed that with the best version of others, and let all that interconnected brilliance play out on the stage. All because you agreed to honor each other.
Honoring the craft: While the craft of improv has various forms, structures and schools, there are only a few core fundamental principles: to suspend judgment, to build on the ideas of others, to listen intently, and to agree to a shared reality. That’s it. And when you honor the craft the rest takes care of itself.
Honoring the audience: The audience has elected to come to the show and watch you perform. And they are smart and funny and kind and enthusiastic. These people could literally be anywhere else right now, but they’re not. They want to be there, yelling out suggestions, cheering you on, and laughing with you. And yes they are also laughing at you – with great love in their hearts. Shared laughter creates a powerful bond between humans. Having an audience to perform in front of is a gift, honoring them is also a gift.
Let me say it again, it’s all about honoring.
This honoring practice is about respect and integrity, admiration and truth. There’s an implied obligation; a responsibility to a predetermined code of conduct. And it’s this very same truth – this honoring – that is at the heart of the most pressing work of being a human being that is connected to every other human being on the planet living out our shared humanity.
So yes, I do believe that improv can change the world, or at the very least change the way we treat each other as we go about our lives in this world. And I believe that - deep in my soul. Because at the heart of improv, what we’re really doing is unconditionally fundamental to the core of human understanding and connectedness. We’re honoring. It’s all about the honoring.
Michelle Obama once said, “the arts…define who we are as a people. That is their power – to remind us of what we each have to offer, and what we all have in common.” I think we all have the capacity to offer honor – and that shared potential has the power to change the world.
And that is this year’s love letter to improv.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
Happiness begets engagement
Gallup is regarded as the authority on the topic of employee engagement. Figures show employee engagement percentages across three spectrums: actively disengaged, not engaged (referred to as just there), and engaged. The 2022 Gallup numbers came in at 18%, 50%, and 32% respectively. A full half of the workforce is merely just there. And if that’s not disturbing enough, think about the 18% that are actively disengaged. These individuals are actively and intentionally spreading dissatisfaction to others. It seems unlikely the third that are actually engaged can off-set that momentum. And maybe the worst part of all is that the numbers fluctuate only a couple of percentage points from year to year. So for all the talk on the topic, not much changes.
From my perspective, here’s the miss. “I” am the fundamental equation in the question, and yet no one is asking me about “me”. Engagement surveys don’t inquire about personal well-being or individual levels of happiness. Shouldn’t the individual be the primary conversation…? I think so.
Generally speaking, engagement discussions tend to get lumped into three buckets. All worthy conversations, but secondary ones.
The role of the organization
Engagement commentary overwhelmingly implies that the organization is at fault for poor results. Apparently the organization must bear the burden. That seems unbalanced. Does the organization play a role…? It does. Is the role that it plays primary to a more engaged workforce…? It isn’t. I want to see organizations excel in all the ways that matter to its particular workforce, but I find it unlikely that individual engagement will be solved by the collective actions of the entity. Engagement is an individual decision that I make, or don’t make.
The influence of leadership
After pointing to organizational gaps, another common thread is the overarching statement of, “leaders hold the key to employee engagement”. I could go along with that statement if “leader” meant “self”, as in self-leader(ship). But that’s not what it means. The statement suggests that I’ve acquiesced control of my personal engagement to another party. If I were genuinely happy, would I send in my vote by proxy…? I would not.
The financial impact
Studies are quick to point out the negative financial impacts resulting from the roughly 70% of the workforce that is categorized at actively disengaged or just there, targeting front-line productivity to bottom-line profitability – and everything in between. Yet there is wealth beyond the P&L statement. There is untold wealth that happiness has the potential to create for mankind. The quest for individual happiness has far greater staying power. Organizations will continue to come and go over time, but humanity endures.
For me, in the end, what is missing is all this cacophonous conversation on employee engagement is the truest, deepest, most basic human question of all: am I happy…?
And don’t dilute the question. It’s not “am I happy at work”, or “am I happy with my boss”, or “am I happy with the vision of the organization”, but – as a human being – am I happy with myself, am I happy with who I am, am I happy with the life that I lead. Happiness is the driver to a life that contains engagement. Happiness begets engagement, not the other way around.
And just maybe we’re starting to make progress on the happiness front. Greater numbers of people are embracing contemplative practices (mindfulness, meditation, centering) and creating simplified lives (less stuff, more experiences). There is a deep yearning to understand what truly brings joy and how that joy can be central to a life. I have to believe that once we get a real sense of what makes us happy, we gravitate toward work that matters, in organizations where we flourish, along side people we are genuinely excited to see every day. Once I’ve made those decisions, then ask me if I’m engaged. Actually no, don’t ask me that. Ask me if I’ve come alive. Because what we need is people who have come alive.
Happiness is an individual decision; a choice I make. And happiness begets engagement. Let’s get to the root of the discussion. What we need is for the human race to discover happiness.
Ancora Imparo… (Still I am learning)
EQ is the game changer
I can tell you without a doubt that emotional intelligence (EQ) is the game changer. In fact, I routinely tell folks that if you only take time to invest in one area of personal development, please spend that time growing your EQ. It is that important. Learn to pay attention. Notice. In fact, become infatuated with noticing. Not to get all metaphysical here, but a fanatical level of noticing affords you the ability to examine yourself, your actions, and everything happening around you while at the same time being yourself and performing those actions. Wow, that got deep fast. Let’s back up.
Twenty-five years ago Daniel Goleman wrote a book on emotional intelligence that remained on the New York times bestseller list for a year-and-a-half and is currently in print worldwide in 40 languages. It was a game changer.
In this seminal book he argued that existing definitions of intelligence (IQ) were inadequate, essentially redefining what it meant to be smart. While IQ was still important, intellect alone was no guarantee of expertise in identifying the emotional constructs of humans. It appeared it took a different type of complementary intelligence – emotional intelligence – to process expressive information and utilize it effectively.
I’ve heard some laugh about the following maxim although there is no punchline. The saying goes that “you’ll get hired for your IQ and fired for your EQ”. Apparently no one fires the best engineer, the best speech writer, the best pilot, or the best programmer. But you will be asked to leave if you can’t get along with others. It seems playing well with others trumps smarts. And whether or not you have the ability to get along well with others has a tremendous amount to do with your level of emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence in the simplest form is a 4-box grid. It’s an understanding of yourself and an understanding of others both in terms of awareness and regulation. The definitions are as follows.
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your behaviors, moods, emotions and what drives them, as well as their effect on others. It’s understanding how you’re wired (your core personality) and how that wiring works for you or against you. It’s about tuning in and paying attention to your inward self. [Noticing emotions]
Self-management is the ability to regulate or redirect disruptive impulses, outbursts, and moods. The ability to manage yourself to a productive outcome. The propensity to suspend judgment; to think before acting. It’s paying attention to your outward self through your actions. [Noticing logic]
Social-awareness is the ability to accurately recognize and interpret the emotional currents of other people – often through non-verbal cues - and skill in treating them according to their emotional reactions. Empathy plays a key role here as does intently listening at a deeper level. On a larger scale, it’s being able to essentially read-the-room in an organizational setting and adjust accordingly. It’s about approaching situations more strategically. It’s paying attention to your surroundings that your impact on them. [Noticing environments]
Relationship-management is the proficiency in managing relationships and building networks over time and distance. The ability to find common ground and build rapport with others. Acting in ways that are harmonizing, inspiring, and influencing. It’s paying attention to the bigger picture. [Noticing humanness]
Notice the number of times paying attention was mentioned. Heck, notice the number of times noticing was repeated. That’s by design and not by accident. Being able to notice and to pay attention – whether that’s to yourself, others, situations, or relationships – is at the core of emotional intelligence.
It bears repeating. If you only study one thing now until the end of time, please spend your energy developing greater EQ. It is that important. Learn to notice. Pay attention. Pay attention to what you’re paying attention to. Then apply intellect to what you’ve noticed. IQ shows off your smarts; EQ makes you more human. And being more human is the game changer.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
15 questions to ponder
“The unexamined life is not worth living” is a famous saying supposedly uttered by Socrates. Socrates believed that philosophy – the study of wisdom – was the most important (life) pursuit above all else. Through questioning and logical argument, one could examine their own life.
I think it’s not only about the questions we ponder, but also about the deep courage to embark on the journey that the posed questions take us on. It’s about the process on the way to the answers. And so much of life is lived in this process.
In this season of college graduation, I thought I would share 15 questions that you might want to ponder yourself as you start the next leg of your journey in life.
1. Am I happy…? To be truly, deeply, unabashedly happy. Because happiness begets more happiness.
2. What do I need…? We are simply unable to be the best version of ourselves if our needs are not met. What you need is not up for debate.
3. What do I not need…? An equally pressing question that has us eliminating some things and setting better boundaries.
4. What’s not wrong…? We spend so much time focusing on what’s wrong, when in fact most things are not wrong at all. We can change the way we look at things – linguistically and figuratively.
5. What matters most right now…? Priority lists exist for a reason. Get serious about your priorities and move forward with conviction.
6. What do I know for sure…? Core values. True north. Guiding principles. Non-negotiables. What we know for sure anchors us and gives us a framework to operate within while we ask the other questions.
7. What do I not understand…? The universe is vast. Knowledge is immense. This question keeps us humble. And curious.
8. What if I’m wrong…? You very well could be. And you can’t possibly know until you’ve challenged yourself by asking this question.
9. How are my relationships…? Regrets are an enormous waste of time. Tell someone you love them, issue an apology if you need to, reconnect if too much time has passed, clear the air if a misunderstanding took place. It’s true what they say - relationships can make or break us.
10. Does it make sense…? Maybe yes, maybe no. You can’t possibly know until you ask the question.
11. Why…? Engineers are trained to repeatedly ask why. Because eventually that line of logical thinking takes you to the root of a situation. And solving for the root is so much better than repeatedly addressing a myriad of symptoms. Always try to solve the root problem.
12. What is my legacy…? We’re all leaving something behind – every single one of us. The challenge is to leave behind something that will live in the hearts and minds of others.
13. What am I learning…? You never stop learning because life never stops teaching. Everything you’re learning is preparing you for something else. Stay teachable – and take good notes.
14. Am I spending my time well…? We all get the same 1440 minutes a day. And we have agency over how we spend them.
15. Where do I go from here…? More questions, deeper introspection, greater courage. Just keep going.
Examining your life is an on-going process because life is an on-going journey. We question, we reflect, we examine, we evolve. And if we’re lucky, we eventually become the best version of ourselves. And that is indeed a worthy endeavor.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
And MORE Improv Advice in Translation
I have found that most advice is worthy of thorough examination. Often advice pertaining to one discipline – with just a bit of translation – has meaning in other disciplines. This translation process allows for more perspective and greater insight.
As a case in point: the more I study improvisation, the more parallels I see to the business world. And while I’ve written about this practice in the past, I continue to discover more connections. So what follows is even MORE improv advice in translation.
Improv advice:
Don’t take any shortcuts on energy or polish. You may have done the show a thousand times, but some people are seeing it for the first time.
Business advice:
It’s showtime every time.
Improv advice:
Play with improvisors of various experience levels. New folks will remind you to make clear offers. Veterans will keep you in your emotions.
Business advice:
Strive for connectivity at every level within your organization. New hires will look to you for help navigating company culture and expectations. Tenured leaders will help you to understand the business from various perspectives.
Improv advice:
Cast cohesion takes time. No matter how funny you or your troupe-mates are, you need to be patient while the culture comes together.
Business advice:
Team cohesion takes time. No matter how brilliant everyone is, learning how to work seamlessly and to succeed collectively takes time and patience.
Improv advice:
Conflict in a scene can take many effective forms. One versus one. One versus many. Everyone on stage against the world.
Business advice:
Healthy conflict can serve as a catalyst to strengthen teams and relationships.
Improv advice:
Keep an improv journal. Write down ideas for shows. Write down good feedback you’ve been given. Write down good feedback you’ve overheard.
Business advice:
Keep a journal and spend time in reflection. Write down the lessons you’ve learned along the way.
Improv advice:
See as much improv as you can. Constantly remind yourself that your style is one of many and you exist as part of a huge, diverse art form.
Business advice:
There are a lot of ways to run a business. There are a lot of ways to lead. Your style can be unapologetically all you.
Improv advice:
Side-coaching from your director or troupe-mates doesn’t mean you’re bad at improv. It means that you’re good enough for them to think you can get even better.
Business advice:
Hard to hear feedback from a peer or supervisor can be challenging. It can also be exactly what you needed to know in order to become a better version of yourself.
Improv advice:
Find out how to perform to a cold crowd without compromising your format. Find out how to perform to a rowdy crowd without compromise too.
Business advice:
Adjusting your style for a given situation is not the same thing as compromising who you are fundamentally. Flexing is good, selling out is not good.
Improv advice:
Different formats will make you improvise differently, and so will different troupe-mates, different directors and even different performing stages. One of the goals as an improvisor is to understand how different configurations of people, places and things impact you as an artist.
Business advice:
Different is different. And what’s different needs to be taken into consideration.
Improv advice:
There is no amount of funny you can be that justifies being a bully, being unprofessional or being arrogant. In improvisation, trust is foundational to execution. If you make yourself a burden to work with through your behavior, you simply cannot do good work.
Business advice:
Trust and moral character matter. Full stop.
Improv advice:
The moment you think you are done learning and refining your improvisational skills, you are.
Business advice:
The moment you think you are done learning and refining your leadership skills, you are.
Improv advice:
The world is big enough for everyone’s comedy.
Business advice:
The world is big enough for everyone’s contribution.
Here’s the funny thing I’ve noticed: the more parallels I see to other areas of my life, the more I want to study improv. And I can’t wait to see what I keep learning.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
Sitting in the tension…
We talk about tension like it’s a bad thing. Maybe it’s just about stretching. Stretching and being able to hold differing points of view at the same time. Leading and following. Glass half full, glass half empty. Literal and exaggerated. Rapid fire versus slow and methodical. Push and pull. Inputs and outputs. Individual knowledge compared to collective knowledge. Consonance and dissonance. Inhale, exhale.
There’s tension all around us. All the time. So maybe it’s not a problem to be solved but rather a stretch to be managed.
Take the epic love story for example. Romance novels are often written in a dual point of view format allowing for plenty of push and pull between the hero and heroine. There’s even juxtaposing views on the quest to conquer our loved one: “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is the belief that time apart is good for us, whereas “out of sight, out of mind” is the belief that being separated from each other is disastrous for love to win. It’s the tension in the journey to winning true lasting love that compels the reader to devour hundreds of pages as they anticipate the happily ever after.
There’s plenty of tension in innovation, particularly when using human-centered design principles. Think of a Venn diagram with the overlapping competing components of customer desirability, technical feasibility and business viability. Thousands of data points might be analyzed and reconciled before the product or service makes it to market in a way that best supports each interlocking interest. It’s the tension of the overlap that drives the innovative mindset.
The Tour de France is an epic example of tension. The legendary sport dates back to 1903 and brings together the greatest cyclists from around the world. It’s 2,200 grueling miles over 21 stages that include time trials, routes over ancient cobblestones, and mountain climbs of the Alps and the Pyrenees. Highly skilled riders specialize in roles known as sprinters, climbers, time-trialers, puncheurs and domestiques. Globally we live-stream the event at all hours of the day and night to watch riders compete – or worse, crash. We cheer for the breakaway riders and marvel at the pulse of the peloton. For the cycling world it’s the most iconic event illustrating the thrill of victory and agony of defeat. Race, eat, recover, repeat is the mantra for 176 starting riders each year trying to make a name for themselves and their team. The entire event is a strategic masterpiece – competing for time, points and jerseys - and is fraught with nothing but tension.
Music lives in the conflict between consonance and dissonance. Consonance is harmonious and pleasing to the ear while dissonance – notes that do not sound like they go together – give a jarring, harsh, unpleasant sound sensation and causes a sense of disharmony. Dissonance sounds create unrest and composers use this disharmony to lend music a “sense of urgency”. In most musical scores the tension will be resolved in a few short measures after the tension is felt. So why create a tension that needs to be resolved…? Because it forces you to listen differently; to experience the music more viscerally.
Finally, there’s popularity and singularity. The toughest internal tension of all is the human desire to both fit in and to stand out.
I think most of our social ills live in a constant state of tension and we naturally want to see that friction resolved. While we may not know how to immediately do that, the tension – the push and pull, the overlap, the competition, the dissonance – forces us to pay attention and engage differently. And that can’t possibly be a bad thing.
There’s tension everywhere. It’s never going away.
Embrace the s t r e t c h.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
Phraseology
Words have meaning; we should choose them carefully. I overheard someone say that years ago and it struck a chord with me – and not just because I love language. With over one million words alone in the English language, I think there truly must be a way to arrange them into meaningful phrases and sentences to say all the things we want to say or hope to convey – in a thoughtful, intentional way.
And because of that deep belief, I’d like to share a few phrases that can help connect us to others, explore things we don’t know, and level set our inner dialogue.
Phrases for richer connectivity:
Tell me more. Usually there is more to the story. And if you don’t get all the details, you’re apt to respond at a surface level. Going deeper is where real understanding and connection is forged.
What do you care about…? People care deeply. And if you can get them to tell you what’s in their heart, you will hear the truest version of who they are. You will really “see” them – and that can make all the difference in a relationship.
What do you need from me…? We can guess and make assumptions all day long – and miss the mark entirely. What if we simply asked others what they truly needed from us…? No agenda, no hidden message. Just clarity.
Who else needs to know…? Nothing exists in isolation. We are all connected. If you now know, there are others who need to know as well.
I was wrong. It’s clean, clear, concise. No qualifiers. An entire world of meaning and emotion is conveyed in 3 syllables.
Phrases for true exploration:
Let’s start with Q & A. It’s presumptuous of me to begin telling you what I want you to know. I need to know what you want to know.
I don’t understand. When you admit to yourself (and others) that you don’t understand something, that is the moment you start learning.
How do you know that…? In the long run you’re looking for an answer. But first what you really need to know is how someone arrived at an answer. Learning involves a process.
Come with me: We talk “at” people all day long. The learning - the real journey - begins when we take them with us.
What do you want to tell me that I haven’t asked you…? That moves the conversation from my agenda to your agenda. Because it’s not all about me.
Phrases for shifting mindset:
I wonder why…? It’s hard to be judgmental when you’re busy being curious. Learn to live in a profound state of curiosity.
I need help. Asking for help is bold and courageous. And smart. No one can do it all, all the time. There is nothing more powerful than the person who asks for help.
I’m processing. There is an overwhelming amount of stimuli coming at us all the time. To believe that we can sort through all of that noise and make appropriate thoughtful decisions – consistently and rapidly – is absurd. You need time to process. Take the time you need.
What am I missing…? Sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees. If you’re the proverbial outlier, then you just might be missing something. Of course you could see something everyone else is completely missing. So either way, it’s a powerful question.
What if…? What if we changed the language we used when connecting with others…? What if we asked more and better questions...? What if we learned to talk to ourselves with more empathy...?
Words absolutely do have meaning. And yes, we should choose them carefully.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
Replacing STEM with STEAM
We are inundated with data. So the first business question we typically ask is a hard science question: What am I looking at here? And to answer that question requires a STEM thinker (a data science approach). But the deeper question, What does it mean?, attempts to make sense of the data, and that takes more of a STEAM thinker (where the “A” stands for “Art”) to answer.
STEM education refers to Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math. STEAM simply makes room for Art in that educational mix. Thought leaders such as Daniel Pink have boldly stated that “the MFA is the new MBA”, furthering the movement to recapture the value of the Arts in a STEM-focused world.
Pink’s pivotal book (A Whole New Mind) suggested that forces in the world economy will shift society from left-brain thinking (linear, logical, analytical) to right-brain thinking (intuitive, creative, holistic) as the dominant thought pattern. In retrospect, that is precisely where we’ve landed today. Think about the relevance of storytelling, our desire for product design, a resurgent demand for all things handcrafted, or how individuals are searching for greater meaning in their lives.
No longer are the arts being undervalued; quite the opposite. And this merging of art thinking with STEM thinking is driving some unique business (integrated thinking) propositions.
Case in point – the marriage of business imperatives with Applied Improvisation* techniques. The art of improvisation capitalizes on the creative process to help reframe how businesses interpret – and therefore leverage – their capabilities.
The benefits of Applied Improvisation are far ranging, with the following merely a small sampling of how businesses are merging art with science.
Using Applied Improvisation techniques helps businesses to:
Increase divergent problem solving skills. As the scene develops, and you have no idea what you will do next, you become much better at divergent problem solving (when there are multiple right answers). Often times in business we get stuck looking for the one answer, when in fact there are several best answers.
Drive creativity and innovation. Innovation does best in environments where ideas simply flow. There are moments of absolute brilliance that you stumble upon while you’re busy making theater out of thin air. Embrace serendipity.
Understand exposure to risk. There is no failure in improvisation, there’s just stuff that didn’t go the way you thought it would. And that is brilliant! Once the fear of failure is removed, so is the pressure. The stage provides a free pass to make mistakes with no repercussions. Every error becomes endlessly diversified.
Develop reframing skills. Improvisation is the bridge – it allows for conversations about what is learned from the doing of the improvisation. Reframing is a foundational skill because it is learning in one context that has application other, potentially unrelated, contexts. In essence, learning drives learning.
Challenge comfort zones. People have comfort zones, and so do businesses. By pushing through the scary unknown, the awkward vulnerability, and the fear of failure, you develop greater muscle around agility and thinking faster and faster on your feet. You become less fatigued by the constant demands of change.
Drive team collaboration. The improvisor’s goal is to make their scene partner look like a genius. Every choice made on stage is for the betterment of the scene. It is selfless. Each actor begins to understand where and how they add value – they learn how to play to their strengths as well as the teams. And businesses are only as strong as their teams.
Share compelling stories. Storytelling is a nuanced art. It is the packaged content of brand and voice. And it is quite possibly the center of the human experience. That is why organizations all over the world look to storytelling as the most promising tool for sustaining organizational culture.
Art, science and business all seamlessly blended for the betterment of individuals, teams and organizations.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
The Power of Reframing
The inability to move forward – to get unstuck – is usually tied to how we see the problem. Essentially, the way we see the problem is the problem. For this scenario, let’s say “the problem” is something akin to a major client presentation that went poorly, a muddled conversation with a key executive, a technology rollout that had a few bugs, the relocation that fell through at the last minute, or maybe a less than flattering 360 feedback session.
The trouble usually begins with the backstory. This backstory, the mental recapping of the event, is flawed in some way: not enough data points, wrong assumptions, inaccurate conclusions, and excessive rumination to the point of tainted thinking. And let’s be honest, WE are our story. Maybe not the story of the actual events themselves, but certainly the story we tell ourselves about the role we played in those events. To rewrite the story in our heads is not an attempt to change the facts, but rather to see those facts from a different point of view. Perspective, wisdom, enlightenment – you get there by recalibrating your thoughts.
Getting unstuck – moving forward – involves reconsidering it from a different perspective, and usually with far more kindness than we afforded ourselves initially. This different perspective can be gained by reframing the conversations you normally have with yourself. I’d like to offer up three questions that you might take into consideration during this self-talk, and then one powerful reframing word.
Rather than focusing on what went wrong, try asking what went right…? Humans have a strong tendency towards a correction of errors methodology – to discover what went wrong so as to fix it for next time. That thinking leaves little room for processing what went right. There is a high probability that at least a few things in your backstory went brilliantly well. It’s worth mentioning that nothing is ALL wrong; even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Instead of swirling in an emotional abyss, take a step towards logical processing and ponder what did I learn…? This question releases some of the emotional energy and begins to engage the brain through logic. Now when faced with a similar situation in the future, you’ve gained the intellectual perspective needed to rescript your behavior. Funny thing is, life has a way of repeating itself. The moral of the story is - take the lesson, leave the angst.
Flip the conventional thinking about strengths and weaknesses and ask what if…? What if in the retelling of your storyline your (perceived) greatest weakness is viewed as your greatest strength…? I know a young man who is often distraught because he is overly emotional; he can and often times does openly cry when confronted with trying situations. He feels this is a personal weakness. What if the ability to feel that emphatic is his greatest strength (a gift really) and he is merely sitting in the wrong seat on the wrong bus…? The ability to reframe how we see our truest selves may allow for us to entirely reimagine our lives.
And as for that one powerful reframing word: Yet. And it belongs in an equally powerful sentence: it hasn’t happened, yet. (It being the eloquent conversational-style when interacting with executives, the pending relocation, the mastering of that next skill.) I love that I’m learning to play the piano, although I haven’t mastered it – yet. Yet gives us hope. Yet provides the possibility of it occurring at some point in the future because yet is a place we haven’t arrived at…yet. Yet creates space, sets an intention, and positions us for mindfulness. And mindfulness creates the best conversations you will ever have with yourself (when stuck or otherwise).
Being stuck certainly isn’t fun. But it can be temporary. You always have the option of rewriting your storyline with a broader perspective by reframing your thoughts. Reflecting on what went right, what did I learn, and what if can be of tremendous help. And I imagine there are many more questions you could be asking yourself, you just haven’t discovered them - yet.
Ancora Imparo…. (Still, I am learning)
Building the right culture…
I wonder how many people can say that they’ve ever had their dream job. For me, it’s happened twice - the work that I do now and the last role that I had at Walmart Stores, Inc. before I retired. From 2004 until 2008, I had the distinguished honor and absolute privilege of leading the Walton Institute, Walmart’s flagship culture program. At the time I remember thinking it’s one thing to personally personify the culture of perhaps the world’s largest organization, but it’s a whole other thing to be the poster child for all things culture in Bentonville, AR, aka Walmart mecca. Oh how I loved that role. And as we used to say back in the day, I hope I made Sam Walton proud.
But this is not about the glory days of Walmart, or musings from a nearly 20-year career, but rather about the very living and breathing organism of any organization: the culture.
When people read my bio, I’m always asked the same two questions: 1) how does Applied Improvisation work in the business world (that’s a different topic for a different column), and 2) as Walmart’s culture queen – what really is company culture and how do you sustain it?
I don’t know about the “culture queen” designation (however elegant that sounds), but I unequivocally do know a thing or two about building and sustaining organizational culture. And sustaining culture is the easy part of the equation. The short answer is that you focus on it. The long answer is that you focus on it all the time. Marketing guru Seth Godin refers to culture as “…a posture that lasts. It’s fed by constant investment and care and corroded by shortcuts and inattention.”
Building culture; that’s the tougher part of the equation because it feels like a paradox – contradicting pieces and parts merging to create an environment that ebbs and flows over the life of the organization. It’s a beautiful thing to watch when it’s done well. It’s a miserable existence when it’s done poorly.
After years of carrying the torch and fielding inquiries, this is my truest explanation of what culture is and how it’s done. Great culture is steadfast to three or four core ideologies that are guided by a million tiny decisions every single day. It’s highly orchestrated yet unbelievably fluid. It’s hard and fast and rule-bound while remaining in a constant state of evolution. It’s public and overarching and it’s private and nuanced. It’s large and imposing but it’s also quiet and subtle. It’s a mix of old school and new school, where tried and true meets fresh and fun - it’s your favorite Levi’s meets Fitbit. The greatest of cultures will take your breath away…and give rise to your voice.
These types of cultures endure over time. They always have. The right kind of culture can make up for a great many things the organization may lack. But if it’s not there, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.
Here’s a bit more texture to the overall culture conversation: it’s not just what the culture is, it’s also the climate in which that culture operates. Culture is how the organization gets work done; climate is what it feels like while you’re doing that work. Both matter.
Compelling culture climates speak to your soul. It aligns with who you are and what you believe in. It is easy, uncomplicated, joyful, captivating. It feels like your best definition of home – or home away from home. These alluring climates bring out the best in you, which you in turn bring out the best in others. You don’t work for the company; you matter to the company – and both of you feel that way. You know all of this to be true in your heart and in your head. It feels a little bit like love.
How is all of this done you may ask, building and sustaining company culture and creating the right climate…? The short answer is by focusing on it. The long answer is by focusing on it all the time.
If I’ve left anything out, it may be because the rest is hard to explain. The right culture is personal. A little bit like love.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
The Art of Effective Communication
The number of words in the English language is 1,057,379.6. This is the estimate by the Global Language Monitor as of January 2020. While 1 million words is a generally accepted count by several independent entities, I’m left to wonder which word exactly accounts for the .6. But I digress.
In a world that contains this many word choices, coupled with nuances in delivery method and tone, perhaps it is no wonder that effective communication can be tricky. But to triumph over the tricky simply requires a few techniques.
Wordsmithing:
To wordsmith something means, “to make changes (written or verbal) to improve clarity and style, as opposed to changing content”. This is about committing to what often might be tough content, with the understanding that there are multiple ways to say what needs to be said. Let language work to your advantage, all 1 million + word choices.
Framing:
Framing a message is intentional positioning of what is said. It is deliberately orchestrating a message so that you are speaking in a voice that the recipient can hear. And by that I don’t mean verbally hear, but intellectually hear (understand) what is being shared. Being more strategic in your delivery also sounds more professional.
Respond versus react:
While emotions can surface in dialogue with another, you ultimately have a choice. Reacting is letting those emotions get the best of you, while responding is capitalizing on a small window of mental processing before re-engaging in the conversation. It’s the difference between eloquence and ranting. A more controlled response will serve you far better.
Assume good will:
We often times misinterpret someone’s communication style, believing that somehow their undesirable delivery is directed at us. It is easy to forget that one’s communication style is merely a function of their personality, and not at all intended to be an assault on us. If we extend grace by assuming good will and acknowledging the diversity of personalities surrounding us, we can examine the conversation on a more neutral level. Now we can process the merits of the content, and not want to strangle the messenger.
Go-to phrases:
Regardless of how well you respond versus react, or extend grace to others, you will eventually be caught off guard. Having a few stock statements ready to go will serve you well at those times. I suggest something along the lines of: “ask me that again in a different way”, or “say that to me differently”. This serves a couple of purposes: it buys you time to mentally process in case you misinterpreted some portion of the conversation, and it also subtly suggests to the other person that perhaps what they said did not sit well with you. It’s a complimentary do-over for everyone.
Ask before tell:
Cognitive processing studies indicate we listen at roughly 200 words per minute and think at nearly 2,000 words per minute. The mental chatter can clearly distract us. We are listening, but we’re also missing relevant pieces of the conversation. So before launching into your storyline, you might stop to ask a few questions to clarify meaning, to ensure connectivity, and to calibrate your thoughts.
Voice:
Voice is the packaged content (think nuances) of how we say what we say. The best dialogue is clearly articulated, with appropriate volume, in a refined pitch (high/low sound waves), using alternating rhythm and tempo (pattern and pace), and controlled timbre (use of emotion to enhance meaning). Finally, breath deeply to remain relaxed.
Silence:
There’s a reason silence is golden. Not every discussion requires input; not every thought should be shared out loud. And truth be told, silence really does speak louder than words.
It’s unlikely that our need to communicate with others will diminish any time soon. As the world becomes more connected and more social, our ability to navigate language and hone delivery techniques will only work to our advantage.
Ancora Imparo… (Still I am learning)
More Improv Advice in Translation
I have found that most advice is worthy of thorough examination. Often advice pertaining to one discipline – with just a bit of translation – has meaning in other disciplines. This translation process allows for more perspective and greater insight.
As a case in point: the more I study improvisation, the more parallels I see to other areas of my life. And while I originally wrote about this practice in 2015, I’ve gone on to discover even more similarities in the subsequent years. So what follows is more improv advice in translation.
Improv advice:
Play the scene you’re in not the scene you want to be in.
Business advice:
Sometimes your agenda is just that – your agenda. And sometimes you have to let it go.
Improv advice:
The gears in your brain start turning when you’re looking for the perfect line. And because there is no perfect line, the gears just grind harder and harder.
Business advice:
Perfect is the enemy of good.
Improv advice:
Don’t take any shortcuts on energy or polish. You may have done the show a thousand times, but some people are seeing it for the first time.
Business advice:
It’s show time…every time.
Improv advice:
The audience is looking for a connection to you. Be weird, be zany, be uniquely you. Yet still have humanity for them to latch on to.
Business advice:
Being human is essential. Being uniquely human is a force multiplier.
Improv advice:
Think of every choice on stage as a conduit of connectivity – speaking, not speaking, walking, picking up something, looking at someone.
Business advice:
Every form of communication is a conduit of connectivity. Everything that you do or say (or don’t do and don’t say) sends a message.
Improv advice:
Words come from your head. Connectivity comes from your heart.
Business advice:
You need both your head and your heart to be an effective leader.
Improv advice:
Never let failure go to your heart.
Business advice:
Never let success go to you head.
Improv advice:
You don't have to spend every waking minute with your cast, but you should know what interests them artistically and who they are as people.
Business advice:
You likely won’t spend every waking minute with your peers, but you should know what motivates them professionally and who they are as people.
Improv advice:
Always thank the tech booth.
Business advice:
Always thank your people. Do it more often than you think is necessary and do it with gusto.
Improv advice:
If you have a choice between reacting at a 4 and reacting at a 10, react at a 10.
Business advice:
When it counts, show up and give it everything you’ve got.
Improv advice:
You don't need to give your character ten things right away. Give your character one important, memorable thing instead.
Business advice:
Not everything can be a priority. Pick one audacious goal and really nail it.
Improv advice:
Be in love instead of in like. Be furious instead of angry. Be married instead of just roommates. Have a belief instead of an opinion.
Business advice:
Have a passion for what you’re doing.
Improv advice:
There is room for your comedy.
Business advice:
There is room for your voice.
Improv advice:
Find the overlap between “audience favorites” and “untested forms”. Spend time in that overlap.
Business advice:
Find the overlap between “tried and true” and “embracing the crazy”. Spend time in that overlap.
Improv advice:
The learning is in the mistakes.
Business advice:
The learning is in the mistakes.
Here’s the funny thing I’ve noticed: the more parallels I see to other areas of my life, the more I want to study improv. And I can’t want to see what the next 5 years teach me!
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
Giving up control
The craft of improvisation is built on a few core foundational principles. First and the most widely known is the law of agreement, typically referred to as “yes, and”. Basically it means being positive and affirming with your scene partners (saying “yes”) and then adding something new in order to keep the scene moving (that’s the “and” part). Second is listening. And not just listening to what’s being verbalized, but deep listening which encompasses body language and emotions. Third is focusing on making your partner look like a genius. Improv is a team sport, so it’s important to remember that every choice made on stage is for the betterment of the scene, which is done by making others shine. It is generosity. Lastly is giving up of control, which is by far the hardest principle to master. It’s about leaning in to the unknown and trusting in an outcome you can’t see or predict.
I think humans by nature are wired to take charge, have an agenda, lead, conquer and win. We’ve been taught this from an early age in order to pursue and fuel our ambitions. Drive is certainly an admirable quality. I just might suggest that if a hyper-drive mentality means never relinquishing control, then we’re missing an opportunity to develop a few other skills that will serve us equally well. Skills like trust and vulnerability, learning to embrace the unknown and conquering fears.
There’s a mantra that improvisors often repeat to themselves as they take the stage: Play the scene you’re in not the scene you want to be in. It’s a subtle reminder to lean in…to trust in the process…to surrender by giving up control. It means you have to let go.
Letting go is hard. It’s hard for a lot of reasons that all converge around fear. Fear, one of the most primal human emotions, has both a physiological and an emotional response. It’s also complex, differing from person to person. It distracts and it divides. It seeks self-preservation above all. Enough fear can even make you powerless. And that is a horrible feeling.
A close cousin to primal fear is fear of the unknown. For those that like control, fear of the unknown can be paralyzing. As a scene develops on stage and you have no idea what you will do next, it can take your breath away. It can cause you to stammer and stutter and leave you completely off-balanced and unmoored. More feelings that don’t feel good.
A fear of failure tends to creep in next. I might believe that not being in control by surrendering to the unknown puts me at risk of failing. Failure is a tough word and we should be careful to what we assign it in life. Just because things didn’t go the way we thought they would does not equate to failure. In that moment of doubt we forget that failure is an event not a person. Failure simply means First Attempt In Learning.
These fears lead us to reckon with trust and vulnerability. In order to trust my scene partners, I have to believe that they will pursue a path forward that treats me with kindness and respect. And then I have to reciprocate those virtues. In order to do all of this, I have to have enough courage to show up and be seen with no control over the outcome, which is the very definition of vulnerability. And yes, it’s plain scary.
Giving up control is one of the hardest things humans can learn to do. Pushing through fear and (perceived) failure, giving up control, and leaning in to the unknown is excruciatingly difficult. Yet on the other side of this hard work is trust and vulnerability.
Play the scene you’re in not the scene you want to be in.
I think it just might be worth the risk.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
Books I return to time and again…
Reading is not only my first love but also my true love. I’m happiest with a book in my hand. It’s where I return time and time again to dream, think, ponder, create, question and to find solace.
So I thought I would share the books I keep close at hand.
The Way of the Shepherd by Dr. Kevin Leman and William Pentak
Written as a parable, these leadership principles are timeless.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
Introversion and extraversion are two of the most exhaustively researched subjects in personality psychology. And the brilliance of this book is that it can start a conversation – a conversation about how people are different. While we are all still humans, we are differently human.
A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink
Summed up nicely in two great sentences: “Meaning is the new money. The MFA is the new MBA.”
Several Short Sentences About Writing by Verlyn Klinkenborg
Most writing is really rewriting. So “revise toward brevity, directness, simplicity, clarity, rhythm, literalness, implication, variation, presence, silence…”
Life – Selected Quotations by Paulo Coelho
This book is a complication of some of the most profound passages from more than 17 of the authors published works.
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Essentially this is a contemporary memoir written in the form of the hero’s journey. You lose yourself, you test yourself, you find yourself. And then you write about it.
The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson
This is a portrait of race, class, and politics in twentieth century America. These topics are as urgent today as they were during the great migration from 1915 to 1970. It’s a bold, remarkable, riveting read.
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
There’s a reason this book is required reading in so many English classes around the world. Good writing can abridge the noise:
“There’s just one kind of folks. Folks. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.”
All I Ever Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum
Kindergarten was a magical time for so many of us. Learning the basics – the essentials of life – sitting in a circle playing duck duck goose after naptime. All of life got overly complicated after that.
Where Good Ideas Come From by Steven Johnson
It’s a book about the spaces where innovation flourishes. In summary: “Go for a walk; cultivate hunches; write everything down, but keep your folders messy; embrace serendipity; make generative mistakes; take on multiple hobbies; frequent coffeehouses and other liquid networks; follow the links; let others build on your ideas; borrow, recycle, reinvent. Build a tangled bank.”
Orbiting the Giant Hairball by Gordon MacKenzie
The author was a creative genius at Hallmark cards for 30 years. I heard him speak once and it was electrifying. My signed copy of this legendary book is one of my most treasured possessions.
The Book of Awesome by Neil Pasricha
The simplest of things will bring you enormous joy. This book reminds us of all the little things that we often overlook.
Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown
Her BRAVING acronym (boundaries, reliability, accountability, vault, integrity, nonjudgment, generosity) sets the stage for establishing trust – for ourselves and others - which is a vulnerable and courageous process.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
As a card-carrying member of the human race, I firmly believe that everyone needs to talk to someone at some point. Even your therapist. Perhaps especially your therapist.
Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell
In short, his research is about what we should know about the people we don’t know.
Reading is an individual experience, but it also tends to be a collective experience because we often talk about the books we love the most. I’d go so far as to say reading changes you. After all, there is no monopoly on wisdom.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
The Other AI
More than a decade ago a pivotal book by author Daniel Pink (A Whole New Mind) suggested that forces in the world economy would shift society from left-brain thinking to right-brain thinking as the dominant thought pattern. In retrospect, that is precisely where we’ve landed today. Think about the relevance of storytelling, our desire for product design, a resurgent demand for all things handcrafted, or how individuals are searching for greater meaning in their lives. It’s all foreshadowed in this book. Summed up nicely in two great sentences: “Meaning is the new money. The MFA is the new MBA.”
No longer are the arts being undervalued; quite the opposite. They are being sought out and leveraged. The merging of art forms with business thinking is driving some unique development propositions.
Case in point – the merging of business competencies with Applied Improvisation (AI)*. The art of improvisation capitalizes on the creative process to help “reframe” how leaders interpret - and therefore leverage – personal and business skill sets.
The benefits of Applied Improvisation are far ranging, with the following merely a small sampling of why business leaders are embracing this powerful platform.
AI skillfully merges the business of art with the art of business to help you:
Find your voice. You unleash your unique voice by owning who you are. Maybe your gift is humor, or high intellect, or perhaps you radiate pure happiness – find out where you add value and do more of that.
Create confidence. Being confident and comfortable on the business stages takes deliberate practice. Personal presence is as much about finding your voice as it is about how you use it. It’s about authentically engaging with others by understanding and owning your personal power.
Master storytelling. Storytelling is a nuanced art. And it is quite possibly the center of the human experience. There is almost a visceral sensation when you come to understand the world of someone else through his or her story. Our personal perspectives often shift because these narratives change how we see the broader context of the world. In every scene you’re telling a story – and how you tell it matters the most.
Build trust: Ubuntu is an African philosophy loosely translated as “I can only be at my best if you are at your best…and you can only be at your best if I am at my best.” This mutual accountability thrives through trust.
Increase collaboration. Collaboration is a horizontal construct that operates across business units throughout an entire enterprise to create seismic shifts in business thinking. The very essence of improvisation is collaboration. Everyone on stage brings a brick, and together they build a cathedral.
Understand exposure to risk. You basically have a free pass to mess up and nobody will care; it just doesn’t matter. The pressure of experimentation is removed if we don’t feel we can fail. Error is endlessly diversified.
Develop divergent problem solving skills. As the scene develops, and you have no idea what you will do next, you become much better at divergent problem solving (when there are multiple right answers). Often times in business we get stuck looking for the one answer, when in fact there are several best answers.
Drive creativity and innovation. Innovation does best in environments where ideas simply flow. There are moments of absolute brilliance that you stumble upon while you’re busy making theater out of thin air. Embrace serendipity.
Move with speed and agility. With “disruption” being the new business-as-usual, it’s essential that individuals and organizations move at an unprecedented rate of change. Perhaps never before has the need to work from the very top of your intelligence been greater. How fast can you think on your feet? How well do you shift and evolve? These are the quintessential skills that improvisers learn to embrace. Scenes are unscripted, unrehearsed and unexpected. You endlessly practice responding to what you can’t predict. You have no other choice but to become an expert at thinking faster and faster on your feet.
So yes, the arts are being sought out and leveraged, and they are living side by side with business imperatives. Just like the other AI.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
* Applied Improvisation (AI) is the use of principles and techniques of improvisational theater, in non-theater settings, to enhance the effectiveness of individuals, teams and organizations.
Replace Judgment with Curiosity
Replace judgment with curiosity. I don’t know if these words found me or if I found them, but they have transformed my life, my work, and my understanding of humanness.
I also don’t know if these words represent a quote, a statement, a rally cry, or serve as simple words of wisdom. Perhaps it is all of those things. I absolutely do know that they have proven time and time again to be foundational in conversations around personality science, coaching for perspective, and Applied Improvisation methodologies.
These words are that powerful. They are that simple. They are that life changing.
Living in the land of judgment is a place we all know well. We hold court there everyday, subjecting our perceived superiority other others. Don’t believe me…? Think again.
Take the simple act of sacking groceries at any big box store. You have the option of going through the checkout process being assisted by a store clerk, or doing your own thing utilizing the self-checkout system. Either way your items will get bagged. I have a strong hunch though that you may not sack your items in the same fashion as the store clerk – for reasons that are unique to you. Logical even. Perhaps this is the exact reason why you tend to favor the self-checkout in the first place. You like your process. It serves you better.
I know this to be true. I have been down this road myself. What you have in this example is the same outcome – sacking groceries. But we tend to justify our process as the better way (right way) of doing it and then judge the other way (that’s often code for the wrong way) of that same task when someone else does it.
And this scenario plays out all day long. In big and small ways. And in important and trivial ways. We don’t even know we’re doing it. Until we stop doing it.
My grocery store story is trivial. But extrapolate this mindset to business strategies, sports, and loved ones. From the boardroom to the soccer field to our most coveted relationships, we justify our own behavior. We judge the same behavior from others.
Judgment is a burden. It’s heavy to hold, emotionally draining, and drenched in negativity. It is also petty. All characteristics that paint a pretty pitiful picture of how we operate from that point of view.
Enter the freedom of curiosity. Curiosity is, essentially, a state of mind. Being curious is being joyful. It is lighthearted, open and inviting, buoyed in positivity. It is also closely tied to happiness as referenced in a slew of recent studies published in the field of positive psychology.
I believe people are capable of great change. I see it all the time. In big and small ways. And in important and trivial ways. Humans have a great capacity to rise above that which is holding them back. To change their mindsets. To shift thinking patterns. To see the world through a different lens.
Learning to replace judgment with curiosity is about shifting your perspective. It’s about approaching a situation from a more positive and productive outlook. A world of possibilities exists if we take the time to be more curious. To ask a few more questions, to be a bit more thoughtful, to be open to more and different ways of thinking and being, and to be more generous with others. More, more, more.
Replace judgment with curiosity. Shifting your perspective is that powerful. It is that simple. It is that life changing.
We’ve all heard what curiosity may have done to the cat, but as it turns out, curiosity is a thriving state of mind for human beings.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
Put your whole self in
I recently attended a week long improv intensive class offered through TheatreSquared in Fayetteville taught by Jordan Haynes. First of all, Jordan is brilliant. He’s a gifted improvisor who will absolutely make you snort laugh! Second, the new TheatreSquared building is stunning. We are incredibly fortunate to have a professional live theatre experience of this caliber right in our backyard.
Class for the “adults” met every night while the “kids” met during the afternoons. On Friday evening we each did an hour-long showcase performance followed by an all-play (adults + kids) couple of games. It was, in the words of an audience member, “scary brilliant”. I couldn’t have said it any better.
A bit of backstory. The adult classes are open to all levels of improvisors – from the I’ve-never-done-this-before to those who perform regularly in multiple troupes. (Lots of improvisors belong to more than one troupe – it’s kind of a thing). You might think having all these skill levels together would be awkward, but it wasn’t at all. Actually it was a hoot. Humor, as it turns out, is the great equalizer.
On Friday evening during the kids showcase performance, an adult class participant sitting next to me – perched on the very edge of his seat, staring at the stage wide-eyed in a complete state of awe – quietly said, “man, they’re so much better than us”. And he was not entirely wrong. Somewhere in my soul I felt a pang of despair.
The kids bounded onto the stage – exuberant, creative, funny and uniquely themselves. Their scenes were interesting and thoughtful and collaborative – they looked like they were having the BEST TIME EVER. They were FEARLESS.
The adults…? Well, in all fairness, I’d say we held our own. I’d also add the words slightly less in front of any descriptor I used for the kids: slightly less exuberant, slightly less creative, slightly less funny. It’s not that we weren’t fantastic too, it’s just that we were…less so.
You would think that as we age with grace and wisdom and in the sureness of who we are that we’d rule the stage. It should be a “watch-me-roar!” kind of vibe. But it wasn’t. While all the kids were giddy with stage presence, I noticed some of the adults trying not to panic. Or worse, throw up. There’s a lesson here.
Which got me thinking: when did we (as adults) stop being fearless…? When did we stop believing we weren’t creative - or creative enough…? When did we decide it was better to blend into the backline rather than to rush to center stage…? When did we become unwilling to put ourselves out there – REALLY out there…? At what age did we start to care more about what others thought of us and less about what we thought of ourselves…? And when did we stop channeling the Hokey Pokey where “you put your whole self in and you shake it all about”…?
Lest you think this was merely an isolated improv moment, I can assure you it was not. This experience echoed what I routinely hear from professional adults who are stifling some piece of their core being. Afraid of being who they want to be, afraid to take the job they really want, afraid to say what they truly think, afraid to feel alive in a way that matters most to them. Afraid to take – metaphorically – center stage.
We need to come back to ourselves. If you’re not standing in the middle of the stage shouting proudly for all to hear, “CUSTOMER #4!” (that was in a scene we did – and it was spot on!), then I’m giving you permission to “put your whole self in and shake it all about”.
Cue the music.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
Future-Proof Skill Building
In a previous column I wrote that planning for the future is not a precise science. There will always be, inevitability, trouble predicting the unknown. With that in mind, I shared a list of personal skills that have wide-ranging application regardless of what the future may bring.
Those skills were: awareness, thinking, sense-making, margin, capacity, agility, fluidity, savviness, paradoxal, orchestration, humanness, presence, smarts, simplification, hope.
While constructing a skills list is an over-simplified process, acquiring future-proof skills is anything but. Developing these skills forces us to think beyond the more traditional forms of education or development and seek to augment our knowledge base in more unique and all-encompassing ways.
Two schools of thought are driving professional development through more creative and crossbred methods.
First, a pivotal book by author Daniel Pink (A Whole New Mind) suggested that forces in the world economy would shift society from left-brain thinking to right-brain thinking as the dominant thought pattern. Pink summed it up nicely as: “The MFA is the new MBA”.
That conclusion startled many who harked the MBA as the holy grail. A bold six-word insight allowed for a reimagining of the skills necessary for the future of work – and where to get those skills. In short, it seemed to grant legitimacy to those who would study in the arts and humanities, or maybe even to anyone who would endeavor to be educated outside of traditional learning platforms. The future seemed to require less mastery in a single discipline and far greater exposure to a variety of thought streams.
Second was the assertion that skills could be developed in a blended approach – such as the rapid rise in the interest of Applied Improvisation, where business thinking is merged with the performing arts. Harvard Professor John Kao believes “…improvisation is probably one of the two or three cardinal skills for businesses to learn in the future”. This thinking opened the door to hybrid approaches where the best skill development was realized through a marriage of disciplines. It seems building skills of the future requires less of a deep dive and more of an exploration.
If the aforementioned skills are on your radar, consider development through one or more of these approaches:
Immersion in the arts and humanities. Study religion, politics, history, philosophy, art, music, photography, film, design, dance, theater, literature, language, creative writing. The idea is to see the world and your place in it through a different lens.
Building divergent competencies. Take a class in Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, Criminal Justice, Law, Human Resources, Journalism, Corporate Social Responsibility. Learn to debate the toughest questions from multiple angles.
Increased knowledge in the realm of behavioral understanding. Take a few different personality assessments. Understanding how you tick allows you to put yourself in the place of most potential. Understanding how others tick drives human connectivity.
Change your reading habits. Read biography and memoirs for perspective, history for insight, kids books for metaphors. There is no monopoly on wisdom.
Leave the city limits. Travel. Change time zones, change continents, change your comfort zone. There are endless lessons from experiencing different cultures and learning to assimilate. Learn to replace judgment with curiosity.
Participate. Join boards, organizations, volunteer. It’s when it gets personal that it gets your attention. And attention fuels inner growth.
Listen to TedTalks, sign up for a MasterClass, enroll in a MOOC (massive open online course). Technology is a big part of the future and it has arrived.
Take a sabbatical. If the world is hyper vigilant, what will you notice when you experience a state of calmly idle?
Brave an improvisation class. It’s the ideal place to learn the powerful competence of reframing – where a learning in one context has application in another, potentially unrelated context. Transference of learning has universal application.
And here’s a new twist. What we’re currently learning about brain neuroplasticity will change the future landscape of professional development even more. Science has discovered that the brain changes throughout life, which suggests that we have the potential for continual rewiring. It appears as if the future belongs to those who can learn, unlearn, and relearn.
And that changes everything. Again.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
15 Skills to Build Regardless of the Future
In 1997 a fascinating read hit the bookstore shelves titled “The Future Ain’t What It Use To Be” (Abrahamson, Meehan, Samuel). It examined not only the cultural trends that were transforming the future of work, but how humans would identify with and contribute to the world at large.
Here we are, 20 years later, still trying to predict and plan for the unknown. We continue to grapple with preparing for jobs that don’t exist yet, using technology that hasn’t been invented, to solve problems that haven’t been uncovered. That may be the very definition of a herculean effort.
I think it’s safe to say that the future will inevitably be a moving target. Change really is the only constant. And while preparing for the unknowable may seem like a monumental task, I believe these 15 skills have wide-ranging application regardless of what the future brings.
1. Awareness. The ability to pay attention. Not to just see what is there, but to see what isn’t there in equal measure. It is about noticing and connecting the dots. Awareness is about being present, being in an observant state of mind. Fortune favors the prepared mind.
2. Thinking. Holistic and integrated thinking. Both ends of a spectrum, both sides of the brain, both parts of an equation. Divergent and convergent. The MBA and the MFA. Old school and new school. The adage of less-is-more has no place here. In thinking, more really is more.
3. Sense-making. The ability to extrapolate meaning by applying intellect. Information is all around us, but knowledge is more nuanced. It’s the ability to separate the signal from the noise.
4. Margin. White space. Unscheduled time. The ability to create a cushion around the fray in a hyper busy-changing-connected-loud world. To carve out space that belongs to no one but you. Space to breathe.
5. Capacity. The desire and the ability to grow. The continual quest for greater competence. A relentless drive to develop personal bandwidth.
6. Agility. Nimbleness. More than just quick, clever quick. With elegance.
7. Fluidity. The ability to shift, morph and evolve. Seamless maneuvering. This is beyond merely going with the flow, but being in the flow.
8. Savviness. The ability to leverage networks and resources – not for the singular advantage - but for the advantage of many. Savvy is the thinking skill on steroids.
9. Paradoxal. The ability to hold and process self-contradicting thoughts and ideas in your head at the same time. Embrace dichotomy. The world has eclipsed a mere either/or mentality and landed squarely in the both/and camp.
10. Orchestration. Being in sync. Calibration and alignment. To be able to keep a cadence when all the moving parts are, well, moving.
11. Human-ness. There is almost a visceral sensation when you come to understand the world of someone else. Through grace, kindness, empathy, perspective and understanding, we see the world not as it is, but how it could be. Human-ness is the heart of humanity.
12. Presence. Finding ones voice. Clarity, confidence, character. The ability to know who you are, and to be comfortable with that answer. To be able to stand in the middle of your heart and know your truth. Simply, to exude your self.
13. Smarts. The theory of multiple intelligences asserts that there are 9 intelligences: linguistic, musical, mathematical, spatial, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and spiritual. Being smart is essential. Being differently smart is a force multiplier.
14. Simplification. Less is more. The ability to remove the complex and the complicated may never be more urgent. Plain, simple, elegant. That’s what really works. “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” (Einstein)
15. Hope. The mere ability to hope. Because there is nothing more compelling than the audacity of hope.
We know that planning for the future is not a precise science. But you can put yourself in the place of most potential by developing timeless skills.
One thing is for sure: we can’t stop the future from coming, we can only prepare. And fortune favors the prepared.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)
A conversation on perspective
There’s an improv exercise I love called Fortunately / Unfortunately. A handful of people stand in a circle and move a storyline forward by adding information as players alternate between fortunately and unfortunately mindset statements. It might go something like this:
(Player 1) Fortunately I won the lottery.
(Player 2) Unfortunately it was only $1,000.
(Player 3) Fortunately that was enough to throw a big birthday party.
(Player 4) Unfortunately no one came.
(Player 5) Fortunately I got to eat all the cake myself.
(Player 6) Unfortunately it made me sick.
You get the idea. After several times around the circle and the story going off on wild tangents – as it always does – there is a fascinating discussion about which position you liked the best: the fortunately or the unfortunately stance. This inevitably leads to a broader conversation around how you tend to approach the world – as in more glass-half-full mindset (the fortunately folks) or more glass-half-empty mindset (the unfortunately folks). Perspective (your unique point of view) tends to play a large role in this conversation.
Perspective also tends to play a large role in the executive coaching conversations that I have. Those of us who have done this work for years know that coaching is not about telling people what to do; it’s about giving them a change to examine what they are doing in light of their intentions. That may sound like a straightforward statement, but I assure you that the act of examining your intentions is anything but straight. Or forward.
Our individual intentions are convoluted and messy and based on belief systems years in the making. And it is those belief systems that create your unique mindset – which is the lens through which you perceive the world. And the world is a mighty big place. Or I guess it could be small. That too depends on your perspective.
The heart of any coaching engagement lives in the art of that conversation around perspective. The rich dialogue that draws the mindset to the surface so it can be examined from multiple angles allowing for a more robust understanding. Perspective takes us far beyond the simple dichotomy of “I see it this way” and “you see it that way”. It introduces the notion that between two ends of a scale, there is a spectrum of understanding. And scattered all along this continuum are points of view that may not have been previously considered. We tend to forget that our perspective is just that – ours. Others have equally important perspectives – which of course is theirs. It’s the coaching conversation that tends to give all of these points of view the airtime that they need.
If I’ve learned anything over the years in thousands of hours in coaching conversations, it is this: all humans face the same issues, just in varying magnitudes and in different sequencing. I know this to be true because at some point in every coaching conversation I will be asked: “am I the only one that (fill in the blank)…?” And the answer is always “no”. No, you’re not the only one. And that response appears to be equally comforting and shocking. I’m continually reminded that we are all far more alike than we are different.
But what is not the same for all humans - and not by a long shot - is what it sounds like when we move through these conversations. Each narrative is incredibly personal, every emotion is nuanced, and epiphanies are unique to that individual alone. Every life has a distinctive soundtrack. Every recording is vocalized from a singular vantage point.
The conversation creates the place to reconcile a perspective. And perspective matters, fortunately and unfortunately.
Ancora Imparo… (Still, I am learning)